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I was awakened sometime
before dawn by pesky cockroaches crawling in my clothes. This was a minor
distraction and after shooing them away I finished the sweltering night in
peaceful bliss dreaming of the real world which contained a real bed with a real
Maria in it instead of roaches. A fellow Michigan sailor
named Hank was flying on the same bird home so we teamed up together for the
long ride. My sea bag had been peppered with shrapnel, at some point in time,
which shredded most of its contents. After tossing it in the river I had the
jungle greens on my back, some cash, and a three dollar carton of Marlboros for
the trip home. We flew to Saigon
and killed the entire day at Tan Son Nhut airport. One of the first
places Hank and I visited was the eatery atop the terminal building to order
T-Bone steak dinners for breakfast. It was time to wash many months worth of
C-Rations from our taste buds. We waited like drooling,
half starved wolves. When the meal arrived we looked at our plates in total
wonder. We wondered what kind of animal these T-Bones had come from. They were
the smallest steaks ever seen and yes there actually was a little bone in
there... About this big right here,
> T < ! Hanks eyes lifted to connect
with mine and we both said in near perfect unison, "DOG." Our survival training kicked
in right about then. We ate every morsel on the table then washed it all down
with one of those giant bottles of Vietnamese beer that has a picture of a tiger
on the label, poured warm into a glass of ice, (yuk!). Satisfied customers, for
the most part, I tell you. We slept that night on hard,
curved, wooden, bench seats in the airport lobby with a group of about six other
paranoid sailors. We could have stayed at the Navy's Annapolis Hotel, but did
not want to risk leaving the airport and somehow miss our plane home. I woke up in the middle of
this night also to see the lobby floor teeming with thousands of rats, scurrying
everywhere, (I prayed that it was dog that I had eaten in the restaurant). I
moved everybody’s gear from the floor up onto the benches where the rats did
not seem to be, then flopped down and drifted straight back to "La La
Land". After sleeping in a few V.C. and N.V.A. infested areas, sleeping in
a rat infested place was a treat. These were a better class of rats, for sure. We excitedly watched our
freedom bird land the next morning and were the first ones on board, strapped
in, ready to roll. The plane filled rapidly with grunts of every description
Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. The cabin was alive with conversation and
nervous talk, kind of a loud back round din. We were all facing the worst of our
great fears. Big Fear #2 was getting
killed. Big Fear #1 was getting
killed just as you were about to leave that rotten place which was somehow much
more terrifying. Suddenly all sound stopped.
I mean the plane went dead silent, because down the aisle walked the United
Airlines stewardess of our dreams. She was a round eyed girl,
VERY well shaped and stunningly beautiful. She wore a dark blue apron covered
with hundreds of G.I. pins. There must have been ten pounds of hardware covering
her chest alone. Army unit pins, Captains bars, Navy chief emblems, and many
pins depicting Snoopy doing every conceivable thing on a flying dog house. She stopped right next to my
seat, about mid plane. I could smell her. I got
lightheaded. Her presence was AWESOME! I thought I would add to her
apron collection, took a 'Curse You Red Baron' Snoopy pin from my boonie hat and
offered it to her. Her gaze traveled to my hand
and lingered there. Her eyes dreamily closed then opened again focused squarely
on my face. A slow smile formed on her lips as she daintily picked up my Snoopy
pin then attached it to an open spot on her apron. **... THEN THE INCREDIBLE
HAPPENED ....** She placed her cool, gentle
hands on either side of my fevered face, looked right straight into my soul,
slowly lowered her lips to mine and gave me a tongue 'n' all, heart stopping,
'Welcome Home Sailor' kiss. As her lips detached and her
face receded her eyes never left mine. I was totally addled, struck deaf and
definitely dumb, in a trance. The men on the plane were
stunned. Everybody sat frozen with popped out eyes that were huge, like dinner
plates. Hank's lower jaw was on the deck. The footstep of a flea would have
seemed like a pallet of C-4 going off at that particular moment. Nobody moved.
Nobody breathed. Then the old flashbulb went
off in all their tiny little soldier brains and as one, it seemed, the whole
planeload of G.I.'s realized that if you gave this angel a gift, she returned a
'Welcome Home' kiss. Complete Pandemonium Ensued! Soldiers tore at their
clothes as if they were being eaten by fire ants. Pins of all descriptions
appeared. Men who did not have pins ripped buttons, chevrons and unit patches
off their tunics. The sound of rending cloth was everywhere mixed with cursing
as battle hardened troopers took their last, self inflicted, puncture wounds of
the war. Money appeared and twenty five cent pins were sold for uncounted wads
of cash. Blood flowed like water. The uproar was deafening. The pretty lady just calmly
stood there with her hands behind her back surveying the utter chaos and just
smiled. She appeared to love it, as if this were her "Thing". Her face
actually seemed to glow as guns, napalm, tracers, bombs, bullets, rain, mud,
claymores, mosquitoes, booby traps, choppers, heat, death and bad food was
driven completely from our minds. It remains the greatest feat of instantaneous
mood altering, mind control the world has ever seen. I am blessed with a fast
mind and very good reflexes, so, quick as a cat I ripped another pin from my hat
and hopefully offered it to the "Goddess of Lips" for kiss number two.
All the other guys aboard the plane did not matter to me. I was Finally
there and they were Definitely square. As the beautiful lady looked
downward at the shiny trinket in my trembling hand, her smile broadened even
more. She nodded her head slowly again then brought her face close to mine,
hands on thighs, eyes shimmering warmly, hotly even. Her apron softly tinkled as
she deftly administered the sugar coated knockout blow of her half finished
one-two combination punch. The goddess looked directly into my steamed up, Buddy
Holly glasses, through my eyes, right into my brain and spoke her very first
words. To me, ... Only me. "One to a customer
soldier," she cooed sweetly, "But you know, a girl Never forgets her
first." she added with a sultry wink. My lower jaw immediately
joined Hank's on the deck. My vision dimmed. My face caught FIRE and I was
burning alive. Einstein was right. Time and space can became one. I am sure I
blacked out for a moment as my imagination accelerated me way past the speed of
light. The beautiful lady then took
Hank's pin, slipped it in a pocket on her apron and kissed him. After she pulled
back, the shine from his smiling teeth rivaled the sun and nearly blinded me. In a flash of insight I
realized that only her "Firsts" were pinned to her apron and got a
special kiss. The rest went into her pocket then received a mere peck on the
lips. I figured she had a dump truck full of pins and emblems, somewhere,
emptied from her apron pocket. I guess the plane took off.
It must have because I'm here. The rest of the lift off was a blur. I was
airborne way before the plane left the ground. This angel from heaven
collected ornaments and managed to 'Welcome Home' kiss every man on the plane
during the long flight. It was as if she were a hypodermic syringe and injected
each of us with a "Zest For Life" drug laced with "I am alive-I
have a future" serum. There were other girls who attended us on that
flight, I think, but she was ours. Well, no, that's not quite right. Actually,
we were hers. She owned every man aboard the aircraft. The poor woman also must
have been very chilled from the repeated mental un-dressings she endured. Like I
said, she loved it and so did we. This might seem like a good
place to end this story, but I can not. There is more and it gets even better. During the twenty seven or
so sleepless hours it took to get to the USA Hank and I talked mostly about Big
Fear #3, which was how we would be received when we reached the United States.
Stories had circulated, in country, about returning soldiers being spit upon. We
knew that crowds chanting "Baby Killer" were making the news. Tales of
G.I. "Just Home" suicides drifted about also. We worried about all
these things. I recalled some of the
sailors I had met like Kevin, John, James, Terry. Also, Harvey and David came to
mind. We had lost Harvey and David. A couple of mind diverting
poker games ran most of the way back, dice too, which was business as usual for
any gathering of soldiers. Our thoughts were
interrupted when the pilot informed us that he could see Mt. McKinley ahead then
banked the plane both ways so all could view their first glimpse of home. Most
men wept, me included, totally unashamed, overpowered with emotion. The force of
seeing that mountain is STILL strong, very strong indeed. After touchdown in the sweet
California sunshine, at Travis AFB, Hank and I went down the ramp to face Big
Fear #3. Guess what? NOBODY was
there. We breathed easier but remained very tense. More scared, kind of, than if
we were still back on the Mekong, and Man, we were tired. I felt ninety years
old and looked bad. Four days in the same clothes, eyes like twin red suns
setting on the planet Zombie, an inch of scraggly beard, sporting a smell in the
R's, somewhere between "Road Kill" and "Roquefort Cheese".
WHEW! Hank and I had about six
hours to kill so we decided to go over to the U.S.O. to see if we could each get
a bed. The U.S.O. resided on a higher level so we waited at an elevator to ride
up. As we waited, a little old man and a little old lady walked up and stood
next to us. The doors opened and we all got on. Hank and I stared at the floor,
acutely aware of our awful stench. Talk about embarrassed. The old man cleared his
throat and said, "Excuse me men, Have you just returned from Vietnam?" "PANIC
CITY !!" Big Fear #3 had suddenly reared its ugly head and was about to
grind us to a pulp.
We both mumbled a feeble, "Yes sir." then looked up. The lady
had tears in her eyes, the man did too. I assumed that this was caused by the
powerful B.O. fumes which were burning my own eyes. Hank and I straightened
somewhat, mentally prepared to take the whipping we had worried about all the
way home, brave sailors to the last. The couple kind of glanced
at each other then burst into full blown sobs. They came at us. We backed into a
corner but there was no escape. We could not fight. We were not able to raise
our hands against them. We became frozen solid to the deck, waiting for that
final, incoming, round that would put us out of our never ending misery. Then the two hit us with
everything they had. The lady rushed in, threw her arms around Hank and started
kissing his face saying, "Welcome home son. Welcome home." The man
grabbed my hand and pumped it furiously sobbing, "Welcome back boys, job
well done." Then they switched. I was engulfed by mom’s arms, repeatedly
kissed and softly murmured to as dad wrung Hank's hand while choking out his
heart felt words. Hank and I were both in a
state of shock. Then my heart began to swell, my spirit soared and Big Fear #3
fled into oblivion under the tender, continuous, barrage that came from those
two American parents. We were their 'Boys'. They left absolutely no doubt about
that. The elevator doors opened
but the love that filled that space did not drain out. It stuck to Hank and I
and covers us to this very day. Many men were not welcomed home, but we were.
Oh, how we were welcomed home! I didn't know about Hank,
but I was Sure that I had just met the people that I had fought so long and hard
for. Mom and Pop USA! Angels placed there by the 'Big Man', at that crucial
moment, to surround ME with America's love. This was, without a doubt, the Best
butt whipping that a tired, smelly, swab like me could ever hope to receive. The teary eyed grand parents
touched us one last time, said, "God bless you.", and hand in hand,
walked away. I did not learn their names but I will NEVER forget their gentle
faces. I then assumed my usual posture when confronted with wondrous things. I
just stood there and blinked. Hank was on his own because I had left the planet. As Mom and Pop faded from
view I realized that all the battle weary troopers I had ever swapped cow pies
with were correct in their optimistic predictions about making it home to the
real World alive. Against bad odds, I really DID have it made and it WAS Gravy,
my man, all gravy. The beds at the U.S.O.?
Sleep? You must be kidding. We sat somewhere just watching everyday people pass
by and marveled at the wonder of being back in America. Later on, another silver
bird arrived to carry us to Chicago, the next leg of our journey home. I
remained awake during that long flight also, watching America unfold serenely
beneath the wings of the plane. I hungrily drank in the wondrous sight of her
mountains, plains, rivers and cities as they passed far below. I relinquished my
window seat to Hank periodically so that he could enjoy the magnificent panorama
too. I tried to sleep and could not but I think Hank crashed for awhile. The
slowly passing scenery kept me alert, waiting for the next fragment of rolling
American countryside to appear. Hank and I finally parted ways at O'Hare airport. He was bound
for Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I was headed a few hundred miles further south
to Lansing. We shook hands, split up and each headed for our separate loading
gates, to board our final flights. The jarring screech of
airplane tires on Michigan runway signaled that my trip was almost over. I
paused at the airplane door to look out over my home town. I was truly amazed
that I was in fact standing there. Emotions swirled inside me like a miniature
tornado. I felt Very guilty that I was still alive to experience this when so
many others were dead and would never see home again. The ghostly voices of
slain troopers echoed in my head. Their whispers seemed to imply that I had no
right to be there breathing the sacred air of America, when they, who had given
all, could not. My decent down the boarding ramp was like sinking in emotional
quick sand, but not for long though, because then I caught sight of who was
there waiting for me. Maria, the most beautiful
angel of them all, rushed to engulf me in her loving arms. As tears of joy
coursed around our lips, the voices of my fallen comrades faded away. I had at
long last found peace. I was HOME! ------------------------------------------------------------- Larry
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